Ex is dating someone else
It’s much easier for them to make a commitment to someone who looks good on paper and is a good intellectual choice, but less of an intense “love of my life” connection. What’s most important is that you don’t allow it to make you feel bad about yourself, or prevent you from finding happiness with someone else.
One man flat out said to me, “Am I head over heels in love with her? It works.” They had commonality, and he really liked her. Your perception is your reality, so you need to decide that he settled, and even if you’re still single you’re happy, because you’d rather be alone than with the wrong person.
He said he didn’t want to get married and now he’s engaged or married. If you are obsessing about the relationship, him, the who, what, why’s and when’s, the shoulda, woulda, couldas, and the can’t, won’t, don’ts, you are either in standstill or regressing into the past because You are putting yourself at the centre of his decision to be with someone else or his actions after you. It’s not about her because you are two different people and the likelihood is that if he was effed up when you were with him and he’s taken up with someone else, he hasn’t changed which means that there is something about the relationship with her that let’s him believe that he can continue being himself.
He said he wouldn’t leave his wife and now he has…for a different girl. In reality, that’s giving yourself too much credit for impact, and him too much credit for actually having that much connection to his thoughts! You also need to remember that with men who habitually mess women around, they ALWAYS blow hot at first which means that when you are losing your mind obsessing over him, he’s going through the same hot phase that he treated YOU to at the beginning.
Especially when it comes to assclowns and habitually emotionally unavailable men, they need attention in the form of ego stroking, a convenient shag, and a smokescreen that let’s themselves believe that they are not the assclown that they actually are.
Some need to prove they’ve still got ‘it’, some are afraid to look in the mirror and see themselves for what they are, some are afraid of what it means to have another ‘failed’ relationship, and some just like having someone there.
Or maybe your ONE did know he wanted to get married, but started picking you apart and finding fault just when everything got really great.
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