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Underlying vulnerabilities very likely made the new relationship possible.

Highly revered marriage researcher John Gottman writes in his book …many clinicians…have been quick to point out that ‘affairs involve sex, but sex is usually not the purpose of the affair’…In fact, most clinicians who have written in this area report that affairs are usually about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation…they are about getting the acceptance that is missing in the marriage.” My work with thousands of couples in crisis indicates that this is exactly the case.

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I’ve notice they follow four general steps: Denial, Short-term depression, Loneliness, and Acceptance. In a four week period, I spent almost 60 hours making cloth flowers because I felt lonely. So, not only are you physically too far apart to see each other (which makes it much harder), by throwing yourself into a project, you are also making yourself emotionally unavailable.

You’re already in what some refer to as an emotional affair.

However, once you fell in love with another person than your spouse, things got rather intense.

I talk about binge eating disorder openly on my blog and have a secton dedicated to it.. There are always those thoughts and feelings in the back of your head and it triggers it..

I hope some day I can get to my goal weight and feel comfortable enough to not go back and forth!

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