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I never expected to be single in my 40’s and I struggle with loneliness despite living in a state where I can legally get married — an alien idea barely ten years ago — and in a time where finding a relationship has never been easier thanks to online dating.

I also wrestle with the fear that I’ll be single until my dying day, a fear spiced with the idea that I don’t deserve to be loved.

There’s no need for me or anyone to feel this way, so here are some things I’m learning and acting on as a gay man in my 40’s to help combat my own self-sabotage.

Learn to Love Yourself If you’re in your 40’s like me, you grew up at a time when gay bashings were common, anti-gay rhetoric was acceptable, and the AIDS crisis had us living in fear.

Hey, I've been feeling quite down for the past few months and just want to get some things off of my chest more than anything really.

I'm currently in my second year of studying at uni and it's getting really hard to carry on because when I'm here I'm just so damn lonely.

I feel really pathetic and a little bit of a loser.They say you must first love yourself before you can be loved or love another.Part of loving yourself is being able to tolerate and enjoy spending time with yourself.While for some members of the LGBT community, depression is something temporary, something that comes and goes and usually lasts a few hours to a couple of days, others have learnt to grow up with it and live with it.Depression can begin since the teenage years, when the teenager gay boy gets ridiculed, he is being mocked on or even thrown out of the house by his own parents because of his sexual orientation.

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